142 Quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.

Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.

I THINK ITS COOL THAT OTHER CROWDS LIKE WHAT I DO. HOWEVER IVE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD MIX OF PEOPLE AT MY SHOWS. I STARTED DOING THINGS ON RADIO ON ROCK MARKETS AND ALTERNATIVE MARKETS. IVE ALWAYS BEEN A COUNTRY TYPE ACT HOWEVER I STARTED WITH THE ROCK MARKET. IM VERY INTERCHANGEABLE.

Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius.

I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.

Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling

I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo.

I don’t have a lot of recreation time. I’ve always been under the assumption that if you’re selling tickets you need to work. The kind of success that’s happened to me maybe only happens to one comedian every twenty years and so I’m on the road constantly.

I’ve been down in Florida since 1979. When you’re born in Nebraska you really can’t explain it.