222 Quotes by Laurence J. Peter

All, from police forces to armed forces, are rigid hierarchies of salaried employees, and all are necessarily cumbered with incompetents who cannot do their existing work, cannot be promoted, yet cannot be removed.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

The modern child will answer you back before you’ve said anything.

The more conceited members of the race think in terms of an endless ascent – or promotion ad infinitum. I would point out that, sooner or later, man must reach his level of life-incompetence.

You can always tell a real friend; when you’ve made a fool of yourself, he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.

No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a camel – anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform effectively under such difficult conditions.

Don’t worry about middle age: you’ll outgrow it.

My problem is I say what I’m thinking before I think what I’m saying.

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form.