30 Quotes by Lea DeLaria

They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!

Never point at anything beige and call it cool.

Learn all the rules... then break them.

It's not that I don't like penises. I just don't like them on men.

Because I'm not a nice lesbian, I'm a big dyke!

My idea as far as comedy goes has always been to push the limits of what's acceptable for a woman to do or say or be. My hero in that would be Lenny Bruce, who teaches us that words have no meaning. It's the intent behind them that is what's important.

Guns don't kill, people do.

It's really not enough to just have black women. A really good idea could be to comment on how they are treated by society.

As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.