30 Quotes by Lea DeLaria

My mother said to me, 'Why do you have to call yourself a dyke? Why can't you be a nice lesbian?' 'Because I'm not a nice lesbian, I'm a big dyke.'

It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me.

Guns don’t kill, people do.

My mother said to me, ‘Why do you have to call yourself a dyke? Why can’t you be a nice lesbian?’ ‘Because I’m not a nice lesbian, I’m a big dyke.’

It’s not that I don’t like penises. I just don’t like them on men.

Because I’m not a nice lesbian, I’m a big dyke!

What do you mean you don’t believe in homosexuality? It’s not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn’t necessary.

My idea as far as comedy goes has always been to push the limits of what’s acceptable for a woman to do or say or be. My hero in that would be Lenny Bruce, who teaches us that words have no meaning. It’s the intent behind them that is what’s important.

They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who’ve been together for twenty-five years can’t get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!