849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

- “What kind of funny?” I asked her. “Funny like a clown onstage? Or funny like a clown hanging around the entrance to a bank?”-“The bank one.

But like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

Are you who I think you are?

But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simple, but doing the right thing is simply impossible....

[I]t was the color of someone buying you an ice cream cone for no reason at all.

It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.