849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

Off with you" is a phrase used by people who lack the curtesy to say something more polite, such as, "if there's nothing else you require I must be going" or "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave, please" or even "excuse me but I believe you have mistaken my home for your own and my valuable belongings for yours and I must ask you to return the items in question to me and leave my home after untying me from this chair, as I'm unable to do it myself, if it's not too much trouble.

Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two--a schism or a death, a fire or a mutiny, the loss of a home or the destruction of a tea set.

A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a life of decency, integrity, and kindness, which is much more challenging and noble, if not always quite as exciting.

It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.

Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.

I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I read the same authors you do.

It is often said that if you have a room with a view, you will feel peaceful and relaxed, but if the room is a caravan hurtling down a steep and twisted road, and the view is an eerie mountain range racing backward away from you, while chilly mountain winds sting your face and toss dust into your eyes, then you will not feel one bit of peace and relaxation.

I feel fine," Sunny said. "Burn down hotel." "That's my girl!" Count Olaf cried. "If only Carmelita had your spunk! With all the errands I had to do, burning down this hotel hadn't even occurred to me. But even when you're very busy, you should always take time for your hobbies.

Murder' is the word for a group of crows, like a flock of geese or a herd of cows or a convention of orthodontists.