849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

Aunt Josephine had been so careful to avoid anything that she thought might harm her, but harm had still come her way.

It was Stephano, or, if you prefer, it was Count Olaf. It was the bad guy.

José!" Sunny shrieked, which probably meant something like "No way!

The accident," she said finally, "happened because Klaus was hypnotized.""What your brother does for a hobby is none of my concern," Sir said.

The first sentence was "This tome will endeavor to scrutinize, in quasi-inclusive breadth, the epistemology of ophthalmologically contrived appraisals of ocular systems and the subsequent and requisite exertions imperative for expugnation of injurious states," and as Violet read it out loud to her sister, both children felt the dread that comes when you begin a very boring and difficult book.

What does 'giddy' mean?" Violet asked, when they had finished reading the note. "'Dizzy and excited,'" Klaus said, having learned the word from a collection of poetry he'd read in first grade. "I guess he means excited about Peru. Or maybe he's excited about having a new assistant.""Or maybe he's excited about us," Violet said.

It is unfortunate, of course, that this quiet happy moment was the last one the children would have for quite some time, but there is nothing anyone can do about it now. Just when the Baudelaires were beginning to think about lunch, they heard a car pull up in front of the house and toot its horn. To the children it signaled the arrival of Stephano. To us it should signal the beginning of more misery.

I'm afraid the engine is quite dead," Mr. Poe called out."And before long," Stephano muttered to the children, "you will be too.""I'm sorry," Mr. Poe said. "I couldn't hear you.

Captain Sham doesn't have a left ankle and only has one eye. I can't believe you would dare to disagree with a man who has eye problems.""I have eye problems," Klaus said, pointing to his glasses, "and you're disagreeing with me.""I will thank you not to be impertinent," Aunt Josephine said, using a word which here means "pointing out that I'm wrong, which annoys me.