849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen.

It was impossible to tame, like leeches.

A rug feels like a lion, but that doesn't mean you can ride it.

How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus were so surprised they almost dropped the lamp. It was Stephano, or, if you prefer, it was Count Olaf. It was the bad guy.

Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted.

Don't be a smart aleck," Hungry said."But it cheers me up," I said.

Depressed" is a word that often describes somebody who is feeling sad and gloomy, but in this case it describes a secret button, hidden in a crow statue, that is feeling just fine, thank you.

If you are trying to fool a farsighted or dimwitted person, a veiled facial disguise might be enough.

I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.