849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

If you spent less time reading and more time thinking about lumber, you’d care more about money and less about people!

Bluh bluh bluh,” Klaus bluhed.

I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.

The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!

Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, due to the fact that the Earth travels around and around the sun reminding everyone that it is time to get out of bed and start the day with a cup of coffee or a secret message folded up into a paper airplane that can sail out the barred window of a ranger station.

Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it before.

Who you are and what you read is private in a library.

People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter – it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.

Never mind what my name is,” the man said. “No one can pronounce it anyway. Just call me Sir.