849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

Wishing is merely a quiet way to spend one’s time before the candles are extinguished on one’s birthday cake.

And as the Baudelaires told Hector their long story, they began to feel as if the handyman was carrying more than their suitcases. They felt as if he was carrying each word they said, as if each unfortunate event was a burden that Hector was helping them with. The story of their lives was so miserable that I cannot say they felt happy when they were through telling it, but by the time Sunny concluded the whole long story, the Baudelaires felt as if they were carrying much less.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

And a town not too far from where you live has a law that bars me from coming within five miles of its borders.

Klaus had known for all twelve of his years that his older sister found a hand on her shoulder comforting – as long as the hand was attached to an arm, of course.

There’s an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.

Her hair came first, a wild tangle as if several heads of hair were having a wrestling match, and the rest of her followed, frowning and tall. There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curious unsolved case.

If you’re not scared, she told me, it’s not bravery.

I’m not smart, Snicket. I don’t ask the right questions and I never find the right answers.