849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

The two Baudelaires, of course, had no idea what the hospital’s policy was concerning surgical paperwork, but they were beginning to see that the crowd would believe just about anything if they thought it was being said by a medical professional.

The infant was standing on a spot in someone else’s story, during a moment of her own.

Excuse me, but I believe you have mistaken my home for your own, and my valuable belongings for yours, and I must ask you to return the items in question to me, and leave my home, after untying me from this chair, as I am unable to do it myself, if it’s not too much trouble.

Lucky don’t listen to your sister.

Fight Fire with Fire.

Very often you expect one thing from looking at the outside of it, but when you open it, there’s something else entirely.

If everyone fought fire with fire, the whole world would go up in smoke.

I think everyone’s parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them.

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of “systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister,” which is easier done than said.