849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.

You’ll have to observe everyone you see, and make such judgments yourselves.

The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing, and so few volunteers who are able to stop them.

The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.

She hadn’t told Klaus about her plan, because she didn’t want to give him false hope, so without waking him, she gathered up her grappling hook and tiptoed out of her room.

But unlike this book, the dictionary also discusses words that are far more pleasant to contemplate. The word ‘bubble’ is in the dictionary, for instance, as is the word ‘peacock,’ the word ‘vacation,’ and the words ‘the’ ‘author’s’ ‘execution’ ‘has’ ‘been’ ‘canceled,’ which makes a sentence that is always pleasant to hear.

I do what I do,” I said, “in order to do something else.

There are some things you cannot explain to anyone, even when they have been explained to you, over and over, almost since the day you were born.

We’re not out of the woods yet.