849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

They’re book addicts.

Count Olaf sounds like an awful person. I hope he is torn apart by wild animals someday.

When you find the sort of people who will show up to give you a ride exactly when they’ve promised to do so, hold on to them for dear life.

There have been only five burglars in the history of robbery who have specialized in rope. All five of these burglars were caught and sent to prison, which is why scarcely any people lock up their rope for safekeeping.

The moral of World War I is ‘Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.

Grammar is the greatest joy in life, don’t you find?

Please excuse the torn edges of this note. I am writing to you from inside the shack the Baudelaire orphans were forced to live in while at Prufrock Preparatory School, and I am afraid that some of the crabs tried to snatch my stationery away from me. On Sunday night, please purchase a ticket for seat 10-J at the Erratic Opera Company’s performance of the opera Faute de Mieux. During Act Five, use a sharp knife to rip open the cushion of your seat. There you should find.

It is unwise to make something permanent when the whole world is shifting. There may be a time when this symbol means something treacherous and terrible, rather than something noble and literate.

But lyrics are not proof; photographs are.