849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

Gregor was involved with something called Volatile Fungus Deportation.

If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.

Wherever you can find a honeydew melon, you can find other melons. All other melons are better. There is really no point to having a honeydew melon under any circumstances whatsoever.

It is true there are more important things than dinner, but it is difficult to keep those things in mind when you haven’t had dinner.

The dark was real, though. It almost always is.

A young man who asks too much about clothing will find himself the subject of unflattering rumors.

Sometimes, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation. “I hate everything about our lives right now, Klaus,” she said, “but we have to keep our chin up.” This was an expression the children’s father had used, and it meant “try to stay cheerful.” -P. 32.

I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You’re my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my omelettes, not boss me around!

This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?