849 Quotes by Lemony Snicket

The Hemlock Tearoom and Stationery.

We’ve discovered a way to dilute.

But finally, into the world came a baby girl, just as, I’m very, very sorry to say, her mother, and my sister, slipped away from the world after a long night of suffering – but also a night of joy, as the birth of a baby is always good news, no matter how much bad news the baby will hear later.

The last safe place may not be a safe place after all.

But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money. The money is an incentive – the word “incentive” here means “an offered reward to persuade you to do something you don’t want to do – to read long, dull, and difficult books.

You’ll soon find out that much of this job involves a lot of waiting around,” the hook-handed man said. “I usually keep something around to help pass the time, like a deck of cards or a large rock.

A very long time ago, my brother and I played a game each morning while we waited for the school bus to arrive. We called the game Beethoven, and my sister refused to play because she thought it was inane. “Inane” is a word which here means that my brother and I would pretend we couldn’t hear each other very well while we were talking.

We don’t need a destination or a way of navigating, because we’ll go wherever it takes us.

Mr. Poe opened his mouth to say something, but erupted into a brief fit of coughing. “I have made arrangements,” he said finally, “for you to be raised by a distant relative of yours who lives on the other side of town. His name is Count Olaf.