163 Quotes by Lenny Bruce

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.

Marijuana is rejected all over the world. Damned. In England heroin is alright for out-patents, but marijuana? They'll put your ass in jail. I wonder why that is? The only reason could be: To Serve the Devil - Pleasure! Pleasure, which is a dirty word in Christian culture.

I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.

TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.

Satire is tragedy plus time.