370 Quotes by Lewis Black

Most of the longer-term relationships I’ve known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.

It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it’s become good business, and God knows how long that’ll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on ‘Piers Morgan’ or on some show and I think, ‘I hope this is funny.’

When I’m funny is when I’m angriest.

In a series of wonderful essays, Evan Handler gives himself up to us – warts and all. To our amusement and bemusement we share in his emotional growth as he struggles to mature. I not only laughed along with him but felt that I too had grown a little along the way. Who could ask for more?

Now, most of the time you couldn’t be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn’t have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits.

I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It’s just a guarantee.

Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.

You know. I don’t think I’m gonna be Jewish for very long.

I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there’s been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are really the ones that give me hope. There’s so much of “they don’t know this, and they don’t know that,” and they’re always denigrating.