370 Quotes by Lewis Black

I’m always amazed when I hear people saying; That George Bush, he’s a great leader. And I wonder, where can one find a drug that would make one so delusional?

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I’d read War and Peace four times.

Parenting isn’t just parenting your own child.

If I get a week off, I’ll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I’ll do that five days in a row.

It’s 2003. Why can’t I teleport?

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you’re crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

One of the interesting things about comedy is it’s tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger.

I’m not a big birthday guy; I never have been.