370 Quotes by Lewis Black

I really wanted to talk about the War on Terror and say that both sides were completely incompetent [in addressing it]. You can't blame the other side when you're involved in it.

Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity. And I think that's the reason my act has become more political. I've become somewhat more of a political comic because the level of stupidity I've watched is staggering.

I've always been a social network retard, even before there was a social network. People would say, "You want to go to this party and do some networking?"

The reason I like socialism is that it's kind of enforced Christianity. It's basically very Christian, in the sense of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." These people have nothing, so you have to share.

I can be drunk until 6 in the morning, and then I don't have to show up to work until 14 hours later.

I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.

I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.

You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.

I feel the need to scream, and even if the scream is not answered, I find my sanity in the echo.