216 Quotes by Lily Tomlin

If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.

When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store.

People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor."

But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.