65 Quotes by Louie Anderson

  • Author Louie Anderson
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    You can't open anything after your 50. You have to wait 'til people stop by the house. 'Oh my God, I'm glad you're here.'

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  • Author Louie Anderson
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    We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.

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  • Author Louie Anderson
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    If I have food in the house and I'm laying in bed, I go, 'I bet that Captain Crunch is lonely in the cupboard.'

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  • Author Louie Anderson
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    I would trade everything I have to have had a happier childhood.

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  • Author Louie Anderson
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    I was kind of a Rickles comic to begin with. I was caustic, and I was abusive and mean to the audience.

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  • Author Louie Anderson
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    I'm at 23 feet, diving into 17 feet of water. I'm over 400 pounds. Who doesn't want to see that? I do. I'm always shocked that I can do it.

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