227 Quotes by Louis C.K.

A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn’t hurt anybody.

I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you’re going to be taken through.

You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says “dolphin safe”, and you look at it and kind of go, “Yeah, but”-like somehow you think it’s not going to be as good? Like, “I want to do the right thing-but it’s probably kind of bland without the dolphin.”

The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.

Look at all the minorities around here! I’m the only majority.

Either I’ll never get rich from the show but remain intensely proud of the work and stand behind every second of it, or it catches on and I’ll make my money down the road.

Whenever I’ve encountered a Christian saying, ‘Why don’t you stop talking like that so I can hear you?’ I think, ‘Well you’re the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.’

I found out that I’m a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don’t know what I’m doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.

You don’t look down at your feet. A lot of comedians want to look down at their feet, but you break contact with the audience.