210 Quotes by Maria Semple

I know it's a lot. But she can handle it. I'd rather ruin her with the truth than ruin her with lies.

What's this?" She pulled out a card and held it away from her face. "I can't read what it says." I took it from her and read it aloud.1. Beeber Bifocal2. Twenty Mile House3. Bee4. Your escapeFourteen miracles to go.

I was a ghost on a ghost ship in a ghost land

Was it happiness I'd found in my long marriage? Or capitulation? Or is that all happiness is, capitulation?

my books begin when my characters' coping mechanisms stop working

You know what it’s like when you go to IKEA and you can’t believe how cheap everything is, and even though you may not need a hundred tea lights, my God, they’re only ninety-nine cents for the whole bag? Or: Sure the throw are filled with a squishy ball of no-doubt toxic whatnot, but they’re so bright and three-for-five-dollars that before you know it you've dropped five hundred bucks, not because you needed any of this crap, but because it was so damn cheap?

I can pinpoint that as the single happiest moment of my life, because I realized then that Mom would always have my back. It made me feel giant. I raced back down the concrete ramp, faster than I ever had before, so fast I should have fallen, but I didn't fall, because Mom was in the world.

I have a high tolerance for pain, but a low tolerance for discomfort.

We were quiet for a while, and then I said, "I think my favorite part of Antarctica is just looking out." You know why?" Dad asked. "When your eyes are softly focused on the horizon for sustained periods, your brain releases endorphins. It's the same as a runner's high.