66 Quotes by Mark Tufo

I’m sorry Trip. I lost my mind for a second.” “Oh... don’t worry about it, I’ve lost mine for considerably longer.

A spider can practice looking cuddly its entire life; still not going to change anything.

Not sure if this was an angle Glade would want to use – ‘NEW Gas scented plug-ins for all your zombie stench needs. Is Grandma’s rotting corpse beginning to embarrass you? Do guests avoid coming to your house because of the decomposing children? Whisk away those horrible odors with our new GAS plug-ins, now available in Diesel and Oil.

You’re delusional, sister, these people you hunt down have done nothing to you.” “I did not create this plague.” “Yes, but you are taking advantage of it.

It’s strange to me that we put so much significance into material gains, but then again, it’s not. Men, at least, chase wealth because wealth brings a mate. And there it is, the root of all evil isn’t money, it’s women.

What’s your last name?” “Waggoner.” Dennis shifted around to put his briefs and pants back on. “What’s your story?” “I bet yours is more interesting, but I’ll give you the short of it,” he told her. “I was staying at my dad’s.

Fine, just don’t get shot again,” she told me as she grabbed her backpack. Really? I thought. Wouldn’t that kind of be the first thing I would avoid? That’s like saying, ‘Don’t let that train hit you’. Or, ‘don’t let the chainsaw-wielding madman disembowel you’. Or better yet ‘Contents of Coffee Cup are extremely hot, do not pour in lap’.

There were no zombies in those movies is all I’m saying. How many dangers should we have to face on any given day? We’ve got zombies, vampires, rednecks and now a biker gang. Enough is enough already!

It was a cold Old Milwaukee in a can, not necessarily my favorite. But I had adopted a new beer credo for the end of times: my new favorite beers were, first, free ones, and secondly, cold ones.