85 Quotes by MaryJanice Davidson

I just assumed you were straight.""Because you are." - "I always assume everyone is gay.

How's your grandpa?""Still worried that your blackness will infect me.""That's the plan. First you, then all the other blondes, and then on to brunettes and redheads. Once we have the womenfolk, all the babies will come out black, too. We all voted on the plan at the last Black Conspirators meeting.

Elizabeth Anne TaylorApril 25, 1974 - April 25, 2004Our Sweetheart, Only resting

Touch my things again, whether I'm dead or not, and I'll kick your ass up into your shoulder blades.

Delk shifted in his chair, the arrow point never wavering. "What do you want?""Oh, the usual.World peace, a pair of Christian Louboton heels, a perfect wedding.

Don't look at his groin. Don't look at his groin. Don't mention that he doesn't have a vagina, so 'we' is bullshit. This is not the time to mention your pet peeve about expectant fathers talking how 'we' are having a baby. Don't. Don't.

All this to say of course Gallo wants to get into your Little Mermaid panties. And if you don't get that, you're dumber than I ever thought, which gives me such a headache to even contemplate. The massive amount of your dumbness. It hurts me,' he whined.

George paid for college by working for Cutco. Cutco is a company that makes and sells knives. Their salespeople go door-to-door. George Pinkman talked his way into peoples' homes with a big bag of knives and sold them potential murder weapons. Do I have to add that he was their top salesman three years running? I do not.

It's nice to see you again, Laura.""Thank you, Mrs. T-""No, no, no. Please, my name is-""Mud," I suggested. "Mud Barfbag Taylor. Call her Asshat for short."~Laura, Antonia, Betsy