312 Quotes by Matt Groening

I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case.

I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little figurine of Bart and asked: 'Do you know who this is?' And she said: 'Mickey Mouse.'

Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight.

Our solution on 'The Simpsons' is to do jokes that people who have an education, or some frame of reference, can get. And for the ones who don't, it doesn't matter, because we have Homer banging his head and saying, 'D'oh!'

Think beer; drink beer.

Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.