69 Quotes by Merrill Markoe

It's just like magic. When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits are gone.

I, too, have never seen an episode of Moesha, and even more amazing, I have never even read a TV Guide description of an episode.

If you begin a conversation about potato salad and find yourself being called a castrating bitch, don't waste your time going around and around about this with your girlfriends, trying to figure out what happened.

If he smells stinky or doesn't have time to call, it probably isn't because he's so busy. It's because he doesn't really care what you think. Period.

I really enjoyed Merrill Markoe's Guide To Glamorous Living, which was a weird hybrid reality/sketch thing I wrote, directed, and hosted, with two male-model bimbos whom I made agree with everything I said.

When you have been writing for a lot of years, you have to make an effort not to start repeating yourself. It occurred to me that I tended to tread certain ground automatically, because it was comfortable, but that there were areas I avoided automatically because they made me nervous.

When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny.

I don't like the celebrity gossip culture, and I certainly don't want to contribute to it. I don't care about the Kardashians, or any of them.

Reality television is a scripted hyper-life that employs writers, but won't allow them to call themselves writers or join the union.