423 Quotes by Michael Caine

One of the great things with comedy is that there's no such thing as a mediocre comedy; it's either uproarious or crap. That's the problem.

Save your money. You're going to need twice as much money in your old age as you think.

You're a big man but you're in bad shape' from Get Carter

I'm the audience's representative on earth.

It's been a long, long journey. I just wanted to see whether I could get a nomination. And I've got one, I'm happy now and my work is done.

You cannot have one bathroom. And it don't matter how much you love your wife and everything, 'cause you wind up with no room at all. You just get a little corner and you've got a toothbrush and your paste and a shaving brush and a razor. And you can never get in there. So you must have two bathrooms. You really must. I think it's essential.

I'd like it to be remembered as you had some fun. We're only here [living] for some fun. I think if you learn something, all well and good, but we're only here to give you some fun. Along the way, you may find out something.

First of all, I choose the great roles, and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.

I'm every bourgeois nightmare - a Cockney with this intelligence and a million dollars