155 Quotes by Michael Ian Black

Internet fame is like regular fame only without all the annoying ‘money’ and ‘power.’

I don’t necessarily self-identify as a writer, ’cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.

All my friends were girls. Then my mom’s strident feminism for years where men were thought of as the enemy, I just didn’t know what the right way to be a man was.

Whatever I write I publish. Because that’s where the money is.

Twitter is about creating whatever persona you want to create and either sticking with it or changing it or evolving it or contradicting it, and I’ve done all that stuff.

Sometimes the criticism is actually useful and constructive and actually informs what I do, but most of the time, it’s sort of mindless, or they’re receiving something on a different frequency than I was sending it. They’re just not getting what I’m doing, and that’s fine.

I thought I’d be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I’d do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn’t come to pass, and I think that’s a great experience.

You know how Burger King often employs mentally handicapped people to wipe down tables at their restaurants? What those people are to Burger King, paralegals are to lawyers. It’s the lowest job you can possibly get and still technically be considered in the legal profession.

The illustrators work so much harder on the books than the writers do. I mean, that’s so much work doing what they do, and it’s terrible for them.