71 Quotes by Michael Thomas Ford

He lifted his shirt, and on his back was the White Rabbit, wearing his waistcoat and looking at his watch. It was just like the illustration from the book. Only standing next to him, back-to-back, was another White Rabbit wearing a leather motercycle jacket and boots and smoking a cigar.

I'm not sure what a good person is, exactly. On the one hand, it could be someone who always play by the rules. But someone can follow the rules and still be a real jerk, you know? In fact, some of the biggest idiots I know are people who follow the rules, usually because they make you feel like crap when you don't.

Boney the snowman, was a crazy, whacked-out guy, with tattooed skin and a goofy grin, and he liked to get real high. There must have been some acid in the soda that he had, 'cause when he went and drank it, it screwed him up real bad. He led them to the psycho ward, right to the dear old doc. And when they asked him what was wrong he told them 'suck my cock.

Like many men his age, he occupied a kind of limbo, not young enough to be the new face in the bars that everyone wanted and not old enough to be – and didn’t want to be – the funny old queen whose jokes everyone laughed at. Instead, he was just middle aged and alone.

Then he asked me which one I thought was most likely to happen. I wish I knew. I really do. But I don’t. You’d think that after living with these people for fifteen years I’d know a little something about them. But right now I feel like I don’t know my parents at all. I guesswhen you get down to it, I’ve never really thought about them as people. They’ve always been my parents. Now I have to think about them as people with feelings. What a pain.The funny thing is, I bet they feel the same way.

People who look down on us poor country folk usually won’t admit that anything worthwhile can come out of here.

I mean, if I’m going to go to all the trouble of being gay and everything, I might as well tell people.

When did being single become a disease?

I realized that all those superheroes were doing was fighting themselves, and that getting to breathe underwater or shoot fire from your fingers didn't really make up for being screwed up in the first place. It was just the consolation prize--you got the great costume and the invisible jet for being a loser in everything else.