57 Quotes by Mike Royko

Why do you think the lottery is so popular? Do you think anybody would play if the super payoff was a job on the night shift in a meat-packing plant? People play it so if they win they can be rich and idle. Like I told you years ago – if work is so good, how come they have to pay us to do it?

For some people, being free means being free to keep their feet on someone else’s chest.

It’s unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him.

A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it’s gonna spill.

Reagan’s approach will achieve one of the basic goals of the conservative: Things remain basically the same. The rich stay rich and the poor stay poor, or even a little poorer.

There is only one way to solve the alleged crisis of the erosion of ‘family values.’ And that is to get right down to the root cause of the problem.

The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It’s an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

Whether one eats a cat or not is a personal choice, and I don’t want to sway anyone one way or another. But if you do, there is one obvious cooking tip: Always remember to remove the bell from the cat’s collar before cooking.

Forty years ago, we were on the tail of the Front Page era. There was a different point of view. Reporters and editors were more forgiving of public people. They didn’t think they had to stick someone in jail to make a career.