317 Quotes by Molly Ivins

Most of us think of government as them. Yet government isn’t Them: It’s us.

He inspired all around him with awe at his work habits: According to several Reagan aides, in the wake of the Iran-contra scandal, there was serious talk of invoking the 25th Amendment to remove him from office because he wouldn’t come to work – all he wanted to do was watch movies and television.

Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey – I’m constipated.

It’s hard to argue against cynics – they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side.

The odd thing about these television discussions designed to “get all sides of the issue” is that they do not feature a spectrum of people with different views on reality: Rather, they frequently give us a face-off between those who see reality and those who have missed it entirely. In the name of objectivity, we are getting fantasy-land.

Many a time freedom has been rolled back – and always for the same sorry reason: fear.

My friend Mercedes Pena made me get in touch with my emotions just before I had a breast cut off. Just as I suspected, they were awful. “How do you Latinas do this all the time in touch with your emotions?” I asked her. “That’s why we take siestas,” she replied.

I am not anti-gun. I’m pro-knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We’d turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don’t ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives.

One function of the income gap is that the people at the top of the heap have a hard time even seeing those at the bottom. They practically need a telescope. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt probably didn’t was a lot of time thinking about the people who build their pyramids, either.