176 Quotes by Neil Leckman

Wheneve someone asks me, "Did you find everything alright?" I wonder to myself, "Is this a trick question?"Maybe there is something that is not all right, and if I mention it first I get some exotic prizes!!

You know what they say. “One man’s joke is another man’s brother.

I think what I need to do is stay awake while I’m sleeping so I can see what I’m dreaming better!!

I never completely understood the phrase, “I took my medicine religiously”, unless of course it was a religion I was unfamiliar with!!

You shouldn’t follow your heart unless you can keep a beat.

I remember a bully once telling me that he was going to beat the stuffing out of me. After numerous blows it was evident to both of us that I didn’t have any!!

Has anybody ever written a horror pop-up book? The center of the book pops up and opens the gate to the elder gods. Of course you’ll want to shrink wrap these books because you want people to buy them before they get sucked into another dimension.

The man said, “The toy cars are a dollar a piece”. The boy thought about that a moment and asked, “How much for the whole thing?

I don’t know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn’t feel any happier!!