211 Quotes by Neil Strauss

I’ve never trusted collaborations, because most people in this world are not closers. They don’t finish what they start; they don’t live what they dream; they sabotage their own progress because they’re afraid they won’t find what they seek.

The days and nights spent imprisoned in her house doing nothing were getting to me. I refuse to take time for granted. One.

If I want true freedom, I need to accept that the path leading there is going to be one of discomfort and vulnerability.

I know that I need honesty from the people I interview. I also know that the truth is more interesting than made up stuff, and also, people don’t connect with you if you’re not honest.

Here,” he said. “I brought this for you.” It was a small hardcover edition of an eighteenth century book called The Path of the Just with a note he had written for me inscribed on the title page. It quoted the Talmud: Whoever destroys a single life is as guilty as though he had destroyed the entire world; and whoever rescues a single life earns as much merit as though he had rescued the entire world. So he was trying to save me. Why? I was having fun.

My ex-girlfriend Lisa once said that every woman wants the same thing in a relationship: to be adored.

So if you remain loyal to people who abuse and mistreat you, that’s called trauma bonding. If you only feel normal if you’re doing something extreme or high-risk, that’s trauma arousal. If you’ve developed intense self-loathing, you’ve got trauma shame. If you find chemical, mental, or technological ways to numb yourself and your feelings, that’s trauma blocking.

I used to think that a good relationship meant always getting along. But the secret, I realize, is that when one person shuts down or throws a fit, the other needs to stay in the adult ego state. If both people descend to the wounded child or adapted adolescent, that’s when all forces of relationship drama and destruction are unleashed.

He was validated. She was validated. They validated each other. They were a perfect pair, each completely unaware of the other. At.