230 Quotes by Nick Offerman

One of the most poignant pieces of recent science fiction for me was the portrayal of the adults in the Pixar film WALL-E. I feel like we're on the cusp of becoming fat babies in floating chairs being fed everything in shake form, and I feel like I am as prone to laziness as anybody.

I really thought that I'd be doing Shakespeare, honest to God. I did not foresee the whole action television thing. That was God's joke.

I like to play women who are not strong at all, because, there's certainly plenty of myself that is no kind of a warrior.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.

Branding is quite an important thing. As an artist, you want to be able to explore facets of yourself.

Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.

If I had to pick one form of acting, it would be live theater. That's where I started; that's where I became a man, I think I'm still finishing up that job.

Technically, we're all half centaur.

I'm always pleased that I managed to stay out of jail throughout my tenure in Chicago.