230 Quotes by Nick Offerman

The key, I would say to any fledgling humorist starting out, is to make sure that sloppiness is part of your recipe. That way they come to expect fumbling and clumsiness and they say, “Oh, it must be a charming part of his personality.”

Technically, we’re all half centaur.

I think the whole thing is kind of sad, honestly, in the same way that our civilization – particularly the consumers of pop culture – has grown so used to an emasculated, bare-chested leading man that something like simply growing a mustache can impress people.

If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.

And what we’ve lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do.

It was on a van ride home from the movie set that everything came together. I realized I had to get off Twitter. It just struck me that I couldn’t stop everyone else from doing it, but I could certainly stop myself.

The quest for the next key art awards begins with tomorrow’s hangover.

When I got my job on ‘Parks,’ it was so dreamy, kind of unfathomable. I didn’t think a job that excellent could exist for me.

I don’t know what it is on an elemental level, but a beard in general evokes hedonism. It’s a more lush personal grooming style. It’s more comfortable and cozy; it’s less sharp and angular and businesslike. I feel like a beard is more Hobbit-like, even though Hobbits themselves are clean-shaven.