230 Quotes by Nick Offerman

My career is inexplicable to me. So far I’ve just been not getting fired despite being myself.

I have a ridiculously beautiful wife who’s super sexy, and as long as she’s happy with me, I don’t need to look in the mirror and think, “How do I stack up next to Bradley Cooper? Would Cooper rock this shirt?” Doesn’t matter. He does not have your wife. You do.

People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn’t sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they’re brilliant at writing jokes, and I’m not.

I am always so happy to be at ‘SNL.’ I still feel like a kid when I’m there, like I can’t believe I’m watching them make the show.

I think it’s fascinating that I receive attention for what people perceive to be a level of manliness or machismo, when amongst my family of farmers and paramedics and regular Americans, I’m kind of the sissy in my family.

When I first met with agents, they said, “Okay, you’re going to play plumbers and mechanics and bus drivers and farmers. Go.”

I always call performing live “giving the people the medicine,” because when you’re engaged in it, you can feel the sort of soul magic being exchanged between the performer and the audience.

If I had to pick one form of acting, it would be live theater. That’s where I started; that’s where I became a man, I think I’m still finishing up that job.

I’ve had to learn and discipline myself that I’m much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It’s just that simple.