22 Quotes by Nicole D'Settēmi

I don't desire a normal life. A proper societal existence never appealed to me. I want to make love to rage, I want to cultivate one's violence. I want to dance in fire, and scream through stormy torrential downpours. I like the term maniac. I think it's fitting. And, fun.

I couldn’t bear the thought of what drugs could do. I wanted to cry, I felt the anguish, the pain, of all that was alive and suffering right then! How this world was dying, all of us, this lost generation. The Lost Children, The Lost Children, an echo drilled so penetratingly, so pervasively, in my head. I sucked in a breath, and now? I was choking.

Should I ever get married, I actually want a really small wedding. A private ceremony that's shrouded in secrecy. I want something intimate. Something between me and my lover. Not a huge party that is really, this grandiose gesture over something that two people should be celebrating between them, alone, and not the world.

The most interesting thing about writing a memoir is that people read it and automatically, think they have you pegged. You know? It would appear, an open book to your soul. But, I penned my own a decade ago. It was about a specific time. I'm not even the same person from one minute to the next, let alone a decade ago. So whatever you think you know about me, whatever crazy you've decided I am or fit, just remember...it's probably worse!

The issue is when you mess with someone who is crazy, you might as well cancel the ride. Because there is no where left to drive someone like that.

I used to worry about being understood. I had the perspective that every one's take on me actually mattered. I was so wrapped up in mourning life, how ironic it can be. How awful. Now? I just want to do what makes me fucking happy, already.

I want to be tied down. I want fury. I want someone's pain. Figuratively, but maybe more than that. My fiance knew that. And, he delivered.

I love children so much that I decided not to have them. I loved my nephews so fiercely, and the heartache I endured form that alone was torture. So, when I thought about my own kids, I knew that my neuroticism would be incredibly unhealthy for them. I Decided not to have them, because I understand the commitment, and I love them to too much already--in my brain--to let them down like that. To disappoint them with life.

Even when I was at my most uninhibited, wild and carefree and seemingly invincible (in my head), making impulsive, reckless, decisions, even THEN I knew I could not and should not produce a child. I am too selfish to ever put a kid through that. Self-minded people do a lot of amazing thing. Artistically, speaking. But, they are rarely good parents. It's like, I already loved my child so much, I didn't want to disappoint them.