25 Quotes by Nigel Rees

How come there’s only one Monopolies Commission?

I got into New College, Oxford. The ethos was that you could work – or not.

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process – in dismissal.

I was terribly shy and never said anything in class. Then I started getting into school plays. When you’ve got words to say, you’ve got a sort of armour.

Rees’s First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

I was absolutely a non-starter at games. My report for rugby said, ‘Nigel’s chief contribution is his presence on the field.’ I used to pray for rain and sometimes it did rain – and we played anyway.

I am only too aware that I am open to Rees’s Second Law of Quotation: However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlier source will be pointed out to you.