253 Quotes by Norm Macdonald

I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.

I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can fill a stage with movement and energy, it just looks like a small man on a big stage.

It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.

I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end, you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

We are happy at the respect others pay our favorites, because we consider it a lively confirmation of our own choice, and as so much homage reflected on ourselves.