387 Quotes by Ogden Nash

You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain’t.

A dog’s best friend is his illiteracy.

Progress might have been all right once, but it’s gone on too long.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it’s the gin.

Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, And that’s what parents were created for.

Shake and shake The catsup bottle. None will come, And then a lot’ll.

The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn’t got it before I wake.

The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions.

Here’s a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.