387 Quotes by Ogden Nash

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.

I’m like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I’m only forty-nine.

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they’ve heard of unemployment and they’ve heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

If called by a panther, don’t anther.

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord’s anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can’t get your fingers on him.

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn’t make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

The turtle lives ’twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can’t cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.