387 Quotes by Ogden Nash

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.