307 Quotes by Oliver Markus Malloy

Selfie filters are lies. Lies!

Our entire life we chase the wrong things because we think having more money and buying more stuff will make us more happy. But it doesn't. You know why a billionaire has 100 Ferraris? Because 99 weren't enough.

Americans like to buy things they don't need, with money they don't have, to impress people they don't like. And then they wonder why they're not happy.

Worshipping a cross is no different than worshipping a tree, a rock, or the stars.

So they tell you to buy stuff. More and more and more stuff. Even if you don't need any more stuff, buy more stuff! Because capitalism is like a pyramid scheme. It must constantly grow, constantly shovel more money to the top, like a sand monster feeding itself sand, or it dies.

If it's true that men and women can be 'just friends' then how come all cheaters first start out as 'just friends?

Republicans think selfishness is a virtue.

Republicans love to take other people's rights away while yelling about freedom.

If aliens wanted to exterminate us, they wouldn't send a fleet of spaceships or a Deathstar. They'd just send one guy with a deadly virus.