675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist.

Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.

Do men who have got all their marbles go swimming in lakes with their clothes on?

You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

She had more curves than a scenic railway

Now, I am a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their shoes, the smell of their legs, the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.

In his normal state he would not strike a lamb. I’ve known him to do it’ ‘Do what?’ ‘Not strike lambs

Comedy is the kindly contemplation of the incongruous.

I was in rare fettle and the heart had touched a new high. I don't know anything that braces one up like finding you haven't got to get married after all.