675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

I've just discovered the secret of golf. You can't play a really hot game unless you're so miserable that you don't worry over your shots. Take the case of a chip shot, for instance. If you're really wretched, you don't care where the ball is going and so you don't raise your head to see. Grief automatically prevents pressing and over-swinging. Look at the top-notchers. Have you ever seen a happy pro?

I expect I shall feel better after tea.

Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.

A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.

He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.

Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.

It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is.

She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.