675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.

[I'm] as broke as the ten commandments.

You could have knocked me down with a feather,' said Lady Abbott, quite untruly. The feather had not been grown by bird that could have disturbed her balance for an instant.

Those haughty English aristocrats are like that. Tough babies. Comes of treading the peasantry underfoot with an iron heel, I guess.

I'm sorry. You do realize, don't you, that we are practically strangers? ''Girls often employ that specious argument on a man. Only to discover later that he was a tadpole and they were a fish in the Palazeoic age. And then they look silly.

It wavered in style between the formal and the chummy, beginning 'Dear Madam', and ending 'So you see what a spot I'm in, ducky,' but it did present the facts.

Of course' said Joe, 'I quite realize that in an institution like this, you must have discipline. Please don't think me a foolish sentimentalist. If the order has gone out that the gang is to play croquet, and Number 6408, let us say, wants to play hopscotch, naturally you have to be firm. But discipline is one thing, harshness another. There is a difference between firmness and brutality.

It serves to keep the records straight, and is a convenience to the public to whom one wants to do the square thing - affording as it does a bird's eye view of the position of affairs to those of his readers who, through no fault of their own, are not birds.

I've often wondered why Nature, widely publicized being infinite in its wisdom, should have made the grave mistake of creating redheads, always so impulsive and quick on the trigger.