675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

I knew a man once who stammered,” said Jimmy. “He used to chew dog biscuit while he was speaking. It cured him. Besides being nutritious.

Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress round it, thus enabling me to avoid the blood, sweat and tears inseparable from an author’s life.

Lord Emsworth had one of those minds capable of accommodating but one thought at a time – if that.

You have the most infernal habit when anyone says the simplest thing to you, of letting your lower jaw drop and looking like a half-witted sheep staring over a fence.

Most of the Marois Bay scenery is simply made as a setting for the nursing of a wounded heart. The cliffs are a sombre indigo, sinister and forbidding; and even on the finest days the sea has a curious sullen look. You have only to get away from the crowd near the bathing-machines and reach one of these small coves and get your book against a rock and your pipe well alight, and you can simply wallow in misery. I have done it myself.

What you want, my lad, and what you’re going to get are two very different things.

The train began to give up its contents, now in ones and twos, now in a steady stream.

She did not cease to look like a basilisk, but she began to look like a basilisk who has had a good lunch.

I don’t suppose that anything you say or anything I say will make the slightest damn bit of difference. You need dynamite to dislodge an idea that has got itself firmly rooted in the public mind.