675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.

It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons.

She's a sort of human vampire-bat

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.