675 Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

But then, at meals, my attention is pretty well riveted on the foodstuffs.

I had staked all on Gussie making a favourable impression on his hostess, basing my confidence on the fact that he was one of those timid, obsequious, teacup-passing, thin-bread- and-butter-offering, yes-men whom women of my Aunt Dahlia’s type nearly always like at first sight.

There’s a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn’t so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.

She looked like a tomato struggling for self-expression.

Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can’t get it.

The water as a topic of conversation dried up.

You can’t be a successful Dictator and design women’s underclothing.

I see no percentage in your being alive. I wish you were a corpse, preferably a mangled one. I should like to dance on your remains.

You won’t mind my calling you Comrade, will you? I’ve just become a socialist. It’s a great scheme. You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property, and start by collaring all you can and sitting on it.